Be My Sanctuary
by Ssomsie
Summary: “-Be my sanctuary, show me what ‘passion’ means, you, who is so simple and clean, who creates true light for the world to see, so innocently.” Mainly Riku and Kairi centric/ Kaiora implied/ Kaiku in family sense/Oneshot


**Title: **Be My Sanctuary  
**Series:** Kingdom Hearts  
**Rating:** K+  
**By:** Mew_Ssomsie**  
****Summary: **"Be my sanctuary, show me what 'passion' means, who, who is so simple and clean, who creates true light for the world to see, so innocently." Mainly Riku and Kairi centric/Kaiora implied/Kaiku in family sense/Oneshot**  
****Dedicated** to Alice- (even though this took way, way, **_way _**too long, I hope it will be worth it!)

(Alice-) Thanks for always putting up with me, even though all my up's and down's, which must seem like some crazy rollercoaster ride sometimes. It takes a friend to sit up and listen to two hours of continual complaining, but it takes a truly special person and wonderful friend to sit through those two hours and actually care- not many people could do that, and I think I can adequately say that by now, there's no one quite like you. *cough* Also- to anyone reading this, you should all be very thankful to Alice, as without her, my writing would suck much, **much** more than it currently does. So, here's to another year to talk, and another year for me to annoy "that person" who does not appreciate it (and laugh at his whining about how I'm making his life harder, or some such.) ;) Happy late (….really late…) birthday, and like I said earlier (because we always like repeating the same thing, over and over, right? ;) ), I hope that all this waiting has paid off and it isn't below your expectations XP.

To Saturday nights, for much longer,

Kai~

And to anyone who used to read stuff that I actually updated… well, wish I had good news, but I'm still working on that original story, and as such, the only simi-active story (Eternal Wind) is not currently being worked on…. But I will finish it! (one day… XP) I promise! :)

PS- lyrics from animelyrics . c o m - thanks guys, you saved me A LOT of time!

Disclaimer: Square-enix/Disney own Kingdom Hearts; I have not ever owned the series… (Wait, does owning every game released in the US so far count? It doesn't? Well, I'll have to go rant about that while I go play KH1 some more…. Me? Hypocritical? Whatever are you talking about?) Don't own Sanctuary (/Passion/Simple and Clean/Hikari) either- they belong to Utada Hikaru, Square-enix, or Disney… Not real sure which, but I sure know it's not me. (As I'm musically challenged in every aspect- lyric writing included.)

* * *

_**Be **__**My **__**S**__**a**__**n**__**c**__**t**__**u**__**a**__**ry **_

"_**-Be my sanctuary, show me what 'passion' means, you, who is so simple and clean, who creates true light for the world to see, so innocently."**_

"_**You're home."**_

That line had not just been meant for Sora. Sure, it had been _directed_ towards him, but it was not just his return… not at that time, nor ever.

Often at night Kairi would think about Riku. Not like a lover- not like _Sora_. (Because, whether Kairi admitted it to anyone or not, Sora was the one person who she wanted to grow up and marry. And she wanted to live in a white picket fence house with him; that sounded good too. With a dog and a little yard added on? Wait… that's off subject. Oh, and while already off subject, Kairi did think about Sora a lot too… maybe even (_definitely_) more than Riku, but that was another side, another story.) Closer to a brother? Yeah. That sounded better. She knew little of her real family anyways, so Kairi had no qualms about considering the older boy to be the closest thing to a brother she could ever have. He was a good "older brother" too… usually.

Sora was easy for Kairi to figure out; his motives were always straightforward and simple. His logic was easy for Kairi. Sora was _readable_. (Even _before_ Kairi spent something around four months living in his heart… and after those four months? Well, what Sora could get away with was drastically reduced from the already small percentage.)

Riku, on the other hand… Kairi just could not quite figure him out. She knew that he had a reason for all of his actions. She really did… but as for the reason… it completely eluded Kairi. It aggravated her to no end too. It was just Kairi's nature to care- she cared about _everything _that affected the people she cared about_._ She cared every time Sora got a cut from performing some dangerous stunt, she cared every time Selphie complained about her life, ("_way too normal life_" according to Kairi (in the back of her mind, that is). And if someone asked Kairi about that thought, it was Naminé who thought that, not Kairi…. Just for the record, y'know?) and every time Riku looked down into the ground for more than a minute and a half (with _that_ look- the look which only meant trouble…ever. Depression trouble, which was the absolute worst, in case that you were unaware of that fact.), Kairi was worried sick. Although, Kairi must also admit, Riku could pull off an impromptu-joke must better than Sora…. Poor Sora just never did catch on until the moment had passed. However, back on the point of not understanding Riku, as that side-tangent was a momentary distraction, and it was time to resume to the main matter of conversation. There was the example of that one time on the Play Island-

"Hey Riku… what'cha thinking about?" Kairi asked.

It was the weekend. A precious Saturday. And Sora, Kairi, and Riku had spent it doing _absolutely nothing_ and it was **wonderful**. Since coming back from their little two year "vacation", free time meant so much more than it used to. Now, the knowledge that this perfect little world could smash into thousands of pieces within mere minutes made them more aware to spend every moment like it was their last- because it very well could be. The trio was sitting as the shoreline, watching the waves roll in and out, the waves occasionally wetting their bare feet. Sora was dozing slightly, and pretending to be paying attention.

But, as one would expect, Sora was a _horrible_ liar. (Hence why the impromptu thing never worked out when Sora was involved as someone besides the victim.) So, he just thought that he was being sneaky and that both Kairi and Riku did not notice that he was snoring lightly. However, both Riku and Kairi did indeed notice, further testament to Sora's lack of an ability to lie.

_He's been running all day, after all. Even Sora the Energizer Bunny needs rest._ Kairi thought at the time.

"Oh, just on old times," Riku replied. His hair was far longer than Kairi's own hair. It reached the middle of his spine then.

"What about old times?" Kairi asked.

It was rare for Riku to talk about the past… he hated it so much. There was so much regret that he carried around. Neither Kairi nor Sora had ever blamed him, but he still felt extremely guilty for the events of the past. So, when he willingly brought the past that he hated so much up, Kairi jumped on the conversation.

After all, it was a chance to understand him –_his logic_- just a little better. Kairi would then be a little _less_ frustrated with him. And if Kairi was not frustrated, everyone's lives became much easier.

"We use to sit here, on this island, and talk about going to other worlds," Riku stated.

Memories… Memories of four years ago flooded Kairi's eyes. She was reliving sitting on the Paupu Tree, talking of other worlds, of Riku's desire to be "free" and of her's and Sora's comfort of their small, sheltered island; of not really wanting to leave, and of hopes and dreams and everything innocent and _what they __**used**__ to be_.

"And now, we sit here and pray that we never again leave this island. Ironic, isn't it?" Riku asked, almost bitterly.

"Everything's changed since then. 'Nothing is whole and nothing is broken'," Kairi replied.

"Where'd you hear that?" Riku asked curiously as he looked to the young girl –no… the young _woman_, now. For Kairi was- in no sense of the word- a_ girl_ anymore.

A _girl_ did not lose her heart, be basically dead, and still give people salvation with her strong, miraculous, never-ending light. A _girl_ did not bring someone back from the endless darkness and restore the precious light to a boy's heart after it was stolen ruthlessly from him. A _girl _did not journey across worlds just to reunite with her lover. No, a _**girl**_ would have moved on and found another boy, especially after she was forced to forget him.

_Kairi_ did not. _Kairi _did not move on, even when she did not know the name of her lover. _Kairi_ fought against the chains of fate. Fate had deemed her to be protected; _Kairi_ fought to protect. _Kairi _forgave when very few would have found it in their heart to do so, showed great maturity in how she handled certain situations that no person-_let alone a teenage __girl_- should have to face, did all she could when someone who she cared for needed her, and was willing to give anything to save that person that needed her. So, Kairi is not a _girl_, but a _young woman._

_A beautiful, intelligent, innocent, and if Sora-doesn't-step-up-soon-I'm-gonna-kill-him-for-making-her-wait-this-long, young woman._ Riku thought with great annoyance with Sora at that moment.

"It's from a song that I'm working on writing. Naminé's helping me," Kairi explained.

"'Nothing's whole and nothing's broken' huh?" Riku asked, snickering with a small bitter laugh.

"Hey Riku, what's wrong?" Kairi asked. Although it was a seemly random question, in actuality, it was anything but completely random. Kairi _knew_ that something was wrong with Riku; he had been zoning out way too often lately, and Riku zoning meant Riku was thinking, usually about something really deep, if he was in a strong trance. And what did Riku think about in a really deep thought process? About how much he had done that he should not have done, and how he did not do that he should have done. Therefore, it was reasonable to say that Riku was going into one of his depressions again.

Riku's eyes momentarily widened to reveal the shock of someone –_anyone-_ noticing that he was not okay _(-was screaming, shouting, yelling, crying__**, begging**__ for someone to notice him in his drowning state)_.

"What do you mean? I'm fine," Riku replied.

_No I'm not. But, I don't want to worry you, so I'm gonna lie through my teeth. It's my punishment, to lie to a being as innocent and perfect as you._ Riku thought to himself.

"No you're not… Tell me... please? You always try and fight alone. I wanna help you, Riku," Kairi pleaded.

_And a wicked punishment it is. Those innocent eyes of yours, I couldn't bear to taint them with my sins._ Riku thought, loosing himself even more than he currently had already as he thought about how much he had fallen- it would not be right to bear Kairi down; she deserved better than that.

"That song- what's some more of it?" Riku asked, changing the subject.

Kairi noticed he had changed the subject, but let it slide. If that was what he wanted, then she would not argue with him on it. He would talk when he was ready- that is what she had been telling herself ever since this problem had started, and she was not changing her philosophy now; it was way too far in the game. Instead, she pulled the journal she had been keeping the song in, and then gave him the book to look at the written down lyrics.

"'I need more affection than you know'?" Riku asked, looking at the first line and then eying Kairi.

Blushing slightly, Kairi replied, "What about it?"

"Who's it to?" Riku asked, a sadistic smile on his face.

He knew who it was to. She knew that he knew who it was to. He knew that she knew that he knew who it was to. He also knew that she knew that he was going to have fun getting an answer (_never a straight one, for that would be admitting the unsaid aloud_) from the redhead in front of him.

"I dunno... it just sounded good," Kairi replied stubbornly.

Riku smirked, but moved on to the next line.

"'In you and I, there's a new land'?" Riku asked again, once again smirking at Kairi.

This time expecting him to ask (and unwilling to give him anymore satisfaction in making her make up random reasons as to why each line said what it said), Kairi replied, "When I'm with him, I feel so different. Like I can do anything. Like the things I can't do, he'll look up and smile and say 'It's alright. Come on, Kairi. Try again.' So, after that, I'm no longer on this world, where I'm told I can't do stuff because I'm just a helpless girl, but I can do anything I want when I'm in that land… I'm not held down by what I 'should be', but rather, I am simply what I am."

Definitely not expecting such a straight response from Kairi, Riku smiled lightly at that statement, and decided to let the subject drop.

_Even I can be nice every once in a while…. Besides, if she gets anymore red, I think she'll pass out. _Riku thought at that time, when he saw Kairi blushing madly at talking about Sora, although she had calmed down a little since she had the comment about her "role" in society after the Sora (implied Sora, that is) part.

"And before you ask, Naminé **made** me put the 'Angels in flight' part. I don't get what she means by that. She's written some of this song too," Kairi stated.

'_Angels in flight'… I get exactly what you mean, Naminé. They are indeed angels, aren't they?_ Riku asked her rhetorically, because she could not hear him.

"'My sanctuary, my sanctuary, where fears and lies melt away'," Riku read the next two lines out loud.

"During _that_ time… When I was in (_continually with, quietly protecting_) him, and that _other_ time, when I had first seen him (_touched him, felt him_), I felt like everything I was scared of disappeared… like his light just told me that everything would be alright, and that there was no reason to be scared," Kairi replied, keeping an even tone as she looked to the wide, open sea.

"And the 'Music in time' part?" Riku asked.

"Well, it was mostly Naminé's idea, and also, it's like everything in life, all of our memories, all the times, can be described by a song… or maybe not a song, but a melody... or something like that. Geez, Riku. I don't wanna think about this stuff!" Kairi responded with a playful whine.

"Oh yes… I forgot. I shouldn't _ever_ make you think. _That_'s just cruel," Riku replied with a playfully arrogant tone.

"Hey! That's not nice!" Kairi yelled in response. (_It was almost loud enough to wake Sora… almost.)_

Riku then read the last lines that were written so far on the page to himself- _What's left of me, what's left of me now?_

_That's Naminé's turn, I bet._ Riku thought.

"The last lines were written by both Naminé and myself… mutual agreement, I guess you could say," Kairi explained, as if reading his mind. (Though that was most definitely an ability Kairi lacked- however she would have loved it if anyone wanted to tell her how she could go about getting such a gift- without resorting to the Heartless would be a nice beginner prerequisite, by the way.)

_What's left of me? What's left of me, if you take away Sora, and Naminé, and Roxas, and Riku. A Heartless or Nobody is more alive than me if the people who I care for the most are taken away from me. I can't even feel without them. I'm too reliant on them, it seems._ Kairi thought, glad that Naminé was not paying attention to her thoughts (for once).

"Hey Riku, I've been thinking…" Kairi said suddenly.

"Uh-oh… We better run then. Danger's ahead," Riku replied.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. Seriously, though… What if 'light' was only relative? I mean, like what if we were dividing something that wasn't really there? What if _we're_ the ones who determine what's 'light' and what's 'dark'? I mean, everything seems to change under circumstances, so it just seems like that sometimes... Ah, never mind. Just forget it. It doesn't make any sense, " Kairi trailed, suddenly feeling very stupid for even thinking that. They were always told that "light" existed, so her theory _had_ to be wrong, right?

"Maybe we just allow others to tell us what to think, so we think that way. If that was true, then what you're saying could very well be true also," Riku replied.

_Ironically, a 'Princess of Light' is questioning if 'light' really exists. Or maybe, that's what makes her special- she can see beyond the boundaries we as humans have set up and sees the truth, see __**reality**__ as it simply __**is**__, not how we've been raised to see it._ Riku thought at that time.

However, Riku then noticed that Kairi had finally dozed off. Kairi's last moments awake saw him reach for something.

* * *

This brings up a good point. What did Riku reach for?

Naminé must have been smiling. She had to be. Because she was _way_ having too much fun in torturing Kairi by saying that she knew what he was doing, but stubbornly staying silent when asked what the action was.

"Nami… please?" Kairi asked aloud, since she was alone in the sweet comfort of her room.

Naminé then took on a transparent form in front of Kairi, sitting directly across from Kairi in the said girl's bed.

"Why do you wanna know?" Naminé asked.

"Because… Ah.. I dunno. I just do. Now, tell me!" Kairi replied, frustrated.

"Nope, not a good enough reason," Naminé replied with a smile.

"Please, Naminé… please," Kairi begged, her eyes shinning with the same pleading that was apparent in her voice.

"No…you should work on that song though…" Naminé said, looking away from Kairi's eyes during that moment.

Kairi, suspicious of both the way Naminé had said that and the fact that she was no longer making eye contact with Kairi, went and took the notebook out of her bag.

Along with Kairi's (and Naminé's, though it was written by Kairi) handwriting, there was some messier-print underneath the earlier lyrics.

_I watch you, fast asleep.  
All I fear… means nothing.  
In you and I, there's a new land.  
Angels in flight.  
-I need more affection than you know.—  
My sanctuary, my sanctuary-  
Where fears and lies melt away.  
Music in time.  
-I need more affection than you know.—  
What's left of me?  
What's left of me?_

Of course, it stands to reason that not all of this was written straight out. Some words were crossed out, others were written in the margins. Overall though, it was written very well, with not as many corrections crossed in and words crossed out as you would expect from someone who barely picked up a pen to do schoolwork, let alone write on their own time.

Kairi then looked up from the page to Naminé.

"I think… I think I understand him a little better," Kairi said quietly, as she reached for a pen of her own to add to Riku's lyrics.

Naminé did not respond, and only offered a slight smile. She could not tell Kairi the truth: "You'll never understand him the way you want to be able to understand him. You're too pure."

Kairi then took a minute to write something under what Riku had written-

_-So many up's and downs…-_

Life was full of up's and down's, no matter the lifestyle. The extent of these up's and down's was the only thing that changes. Every person had good and bad moments. It was what one did during the bad times that defined how they would be during the good ones.

_My heart's a battleground._

Continually, Kairi battled herself on this issue or that issue…. Especially when it came to those two boys. She cared more than she wanted to at times, but on the same note, Kairi never did want a boring life, and they certainly kept her on her feet.

_-I need true emotions.—_

Things felt so manufactured at times… Like, everything was just fake; just a façade. To have felt _real_ emotions—that was something Kairi longed for; she had felt those "real emotions" before, and craved them now. It was something she had only felt around Riku and Sora (_especially Sora, as one might have expected)_… no one else could break that boundary of "false emotions"…. Preset emotions- things that were just routine expressions.

_-I need more affection than you know..—_

How could she have told Sora? At the rate things were going, she would be 20 before he would even give her something more than a "friendship" card on Valentine's Day…. He was going to make her say something, it almost seemed. But… that seemed scary in its own right. What if- after all this time- she was more like a sister to him, and she was just reading everything wrong? Well, guess it was back to waiting for him now (after thinking such a scary thought, waiting no longer seemed so bad anymore)…

Pausing a second, Kairi stopped as a slight tears fell down her cheek; she was not sad. It was just such an overpowering _(overwhelming, beautiful, innocent, real, __**alive**__)_ emotion that was controlling her at the moment. She felt _**helpless**_ and _**strong **_at the same time.

-I _**need**_ true emotions—

(-_because this world I'm living in is nothing but a __**façade**__, and I feel like I've __**forgotten**__ how to __**live**__ and be__** free**__ and I want to __**remember**__ and I'm __**suffocating**__ in this false emotion and rhythm of __**lies**__ and Sora won't you help me again please?)_

After that, Kairi lay down in bed, exhausted, and quickly fell asleep.

* * *

Then something interrupted Kairi's sleep. Wait, scratch that. It was a noise- a beat… a song? This song… something familiar…. Kind of like the ringtone on Kairi's phone.

Kairi was now awake enough to where she realized that it not only _sounded_ like her phone's ringtone, but it _was_ her phone's ringtone. Groggily looking at the caller ID on the phone, which read "Sora", Kairi hit the "accept call" key…. Though she _was _tempted to hit "reject" and just say that something must have been wrong with her phone, because it "never rang", and just go back into the sweet bliss of sleep.

"Hello?" Kairi asked, obviously still mostly asleep from her voice.

"Oh did I wake ya? Sorry about that… just wanted to tell you that me and Riku are heading towards the Play Island and wanted to know if you wanted to come with us," Sora asked ("way too energetically for 8:30 am on a Saturday morning" Kairi added bitterly to herself).

"Uh..huh… sure. I'll be a little bit though. Have to get ready first and all," Kairi replied, realizing full well that the odds of her falling back to sleep were slim-to-none, (as once she was as woken up as she was then, she was up for the day), so she might as well go ahead and get up.

"Alright, me and Riku will go ahead and head for your house… are you making breakfast?" Sora asked hopefully.

"I am now, aren't I?" Kairi asked with a dejected sigh.

"Well, you don't have to or anything…" Sora replied while trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. (Trying unsuccessfully that is. It would have made matters much easier if Sora had been able to lie successfully and act like he did not care_ (had not been craving Kairi's cooking for the past week). _However, Sora was not Riku- unfortunately- in this particular case. )

"No, no, it's fine. Go ahead and use the key to let yourself in. I'll cook when I'm done getting ready," Kairi replied with the same dejected tone.

"Alright! See you there!" Sora happily responded. (Apparently, he did not notice the dejected tone did not leave Kairi's voice upon her agreement to cook. "Stomach over sympathy" it seemed.)

"Somehow… I would still like to be sleeping," Kairi said to herself with a slightly bitter laugh.

"Well, you know how Sora is when it comes to food," Naminé replied with a small teasing tone in her voice.

"Just remember, Roxas is probably the same way, and _you're_ the one who has to put up with him," Kairi argued.

"Now, now, that would be like saying that I shared your…favoritism…. towards the color pink, which we both know is not a true statement," Naminé countered.

"Hey! You know I grew out of that phase over a year ago! That's not fair!" Kairi retorted back in response.

"It's still a phase you went through though…." Naminé trailed with undeniable victory.

"Fine, yes, yes. You've proven your point. Go away now," Kairi grumbled.

It was only now that Kairi stopped to think about the changes that _had_ taken place with her over the past two years. After all, one rarely noticed changes as they gradually occurred, but rather, these changes were noticed after a fairly large amount of time had passed.

To start with, her hair was much longer than it had been in the past…maybe even longer than it had ever been in her entire life. Now reaching her shoulder blades, her hair was slightly darker. Also, her eyes were a darker lavender color than in the past. This change to "darker colors" had (_obviously_) not stayed just to these physical features.

("Blame Riku," was Naminé's response to the "darker Kairi". Roxas had found it amusing that Naminé avoided all blame. "Sure, Nami, you're _completely_ innocent there, I'm sure.")

All pink was now almost completely eradicated from Kairi's closet. ("Thankfully," was Naminé's response when Kairi had decided to donate those clothes to the local charity and remove them from her own closet. To repeat Roxas's earlier statement, "…_Completely_ innocent…". Naminé did not do a _single_ thing to influence Kairi….right?)

Kairi knew that she was bound to her role- perhaps all she could ever be was a damsel-, but there was still reason to try and resist this role. After all, if one never tried, then one never really knew, right? And what would be worse than (_thinking, waiting, __**regretting**_) not knowing?

_Speaking of 'not knowing'…. Note to self: harass Riku until he explains the lyrics to me. _Kairi thought while getting dressed.

First she put on her old black choker, following with her favorite tear-shaped necklace (which was now on a much shorter chain and reached around her collarbone). From here, Kairi put on her gumi-gelled bracelets that she had loved since she was a child; there was just _something_ about that particular kind bracelet Kairi loved. Maybe it was because they were soft, and did not hurt when they were pushed against her skin (for example, when she accidentally ran her hand into the doorframe, as she had done times past), and also provided some protection…not much, but they were not designed for protecting purposes, now were they? No, they were designed for aesthetics, the design of which Kairi loved immensely.

The colors she wore today coordinated with the outfit she was wearing- a navy blue bracelet that matched her navy blue shirt (with a paupu fruit in the center –"Only fitting" being Naminé's remark. Kairi then proceeded to roll her eyes after that comment.), which had a black camisole underneath it.

The next bracelet was grey. This bracelet coordinated with the jacket (and as it was _never, ever **(**__**unfortunately**__**)** _below 80 degrees on the lovely (_humid, hot, tiny)_ Destiny Islands, the jacket was short-sleeved (reaching only until the end of Kairi's shoulders). One of Kairi's personal favorite things about the jacket (besides the fact that it was a light, neutral color- perfect for _reflecting_ heat, instead of _absorbing_ it) was the two pockets- one on each side- of the front of it. This allowed for various things to be carried there for extra quick access, in case she would not have time to get to her black bag (that attached to her belt, one other accessory that she never left home without. Over the past few years, she had grown quite attached to that bag.) in an emergency. So, usually a few potions were stored there.

(It had come in handy too- seeing as Riku and Sora were a little (_extremely, that is_) too rough with each other some (_most_) times. Apparently they thought that they were invincible or something, and not to undermine their own strength, but they _could_ get hurt (_regardless of what their male ego says_), and so it was now Kairi's job to help keep those two from killing themselves or each other.)

"Kairi! You ready?!" Sora yelled while asking about (_when his breakfast would be ready)_ Kairi.

"Almost… I'll be down in a second," Kairi replied with a yell of her own as she finished the current task. (Getting ready, that is. Breakfast could wait. Sora was not _that_ hungry, right?)

"Take your time! It's funny watching Sora starve!" Riku yelled with a snicker, and then Kairi heard a defensive yell.

"I would assume that to be Sora hitting Riku… what do you think?" Kairi asked with a dejected sigh.

"I do agree with your assumption, unfortunately," was Naminé's response, with a sigh eerily similar to Kairi's own sigh.

"Alright, boys… the first one to break something is the one to pay for it," Kairi stated as she walked down the stairs to where the two boys (who were indeed wrestling each other at this point) were currently located. After this statement both boys immediately stepped away from each other (like two five year olds who had just been caught doing something they should not be doing by their mother).

"He started it!" Sora yelled while rubbing his head.

Rolling her eyes, Kairi just ignored Sora's comment and moved on to the kitchen.

"I think I'll dock an egg each for that behavior," Kairi said. While saying this statement, Kairi winked at Riku.

"Oh no, Kairi… _anything_ but that," Riku elaborated dramatically. See? Riku was _way_ better at impromptu-things than Sora.

"Kairi! Please don't!" Sora begged while giving his trademark puppy-dog eyes to Kairi.

"Well, if you insist, and promise to be good…." Kairi trailed. Victory seemed to loom overhead for Kairi at this point.

"Yes, yes! I promise!" Sora replied enthusiastically.

"She has you whipped," Riku laughed while shaking his head at Sora.

"I am not!" Sora yelled back, completely oblivious of the fact that Kairi was indeed still in the room (_laughing quietly, with a well-hid smirk, as per usual during Sora and Riku's banter). _How long had it been like that now? Kairi could no longer remember… it seemed like things had always been this way. It was nice though; it gave her a warm feeling, just being together with the people most important to her.

"Riku, be nice… you know that Sora's appetite controls his brain," Kairi interjected.

"That's righ- Hey! What's _that_ supposed to mean!?" Sora asked.

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Scrambled eggs with cheese?" Kairi asked (_changed the subject off of the previous subject so that she did not have to answer Sora's question_).

"Yeah, that's good," Sora complied.

At this, Kairi gave Riku a smirk, which if it had been voiced aloud instead of simply a look given, would have said something along these lines: "Point in case." Riku smirked in return, agreeing with Kairi's silent statement.

Sora, of course, missed this silent message, but did notice that smug smirk Riku had on his face. Sora was tempted to try and wipe that smirk off of Riku's face, but on the same note, it really was not worth tempting Kairi into _really _getting mad.

(Because the food was not really the issue you see- Sora acted like it was because that was just how things worked. Right now, Sora was not the _hero_; Kairi was not the _princess; _Riku was not…. Well, who knows what role Riku would play in the classical story roles? Antagonist?

No, that was not correct. Riku was one of the people who helped save all the worlds, and saved both Sora's and Kairi's lives multiple times, but on the other hand, simply saying that Riku was a "main supporting character" was not totally correct either.

Riku was much more important to the whole story than just a supporting lead, and as much as Sora _(Kairi, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, __everyone__) _wanted to forget the fact that Riku had indeed been in the company of the enemies (_had at one time controlled the Heartless, one of the very things that those who preserved life attempted to obliterate_), the fact was still there. Once, Riku _had _been an enemy.

Riku's tale was of redemption- a demon that Riku had not overcome yet- and Sora knew it. Sora could relate, because even if he was dense and naïve, Sora _had_ been (_still is, will always be as long as he lives, regardless of if he wished it or not)_ the Keyblade Master of the Realm of Light. Kairi did not know how it felt to swing a deadly sharp _**weapon**_ down on your best friend, and realize that –regardless of what you want- you both were fighting to _kill each other._ To realize that if you hesitated for a _second, _just _one moment_, it could be you dead, and everyone counting on you would be let down.

Maybe there can be two heroes in a story? Are there any classic fairy tales like that? Imagine it- Sora- the classic mold, the Keybearer of the Light, and then Riku- the one of redemption, the Keybearer of the Twilight.

_And well… Kairi's not exactly the most orthodox princess anyways._ Sora thought with a smirk of his own. Kairi had this issue with just sitting and waiting to be rescue… she always seemed like she tried to free herself instead. That was _definitely_ not something a normal princess did. Belle had waited; Jasmine had waited; Kairi had _not_ waited.

Because when it came down to it- right now, Sora was just Sora, his responsibilities were to his best friends. (B_rother and lover, respectively, but again, that would be admitting the unsaid aloud. And admitting the "unsaid things" went against unwritten taboo.)_ He was still confined to a role, of course- he was the densest one in the group, the "goofball" (a Roxas-supplied word that Sora had recently become attached to), and the one that everything was supposed to not register with.

_At least it's more fun to play than 'hero'…much more fun._ Sora thought. Besides, he got free, non-poisonous (as would be the case if he cooked) food. Who was he to complain?

And that was when Sora noticed something on the table.

_A notebook? Diary? No… it looks like a writing journal. I didn't know Kairi had been writing recently._ Sora thought as he slipped the small black and blue notebook into his inner jacket pocket with agile stealth (_from "past experiences" that had required being quiet and quick)_. From there, he left the kitchen to go sit down in the living room- to give Kairi's crowded kitchen the much-needed space, you see- not to read the notebook he had swiped- of course _Sora_ would not do that. (Therefore, it was reasonable to blame Roxas, right? _Roxas_ was the one who would do something like that… not "goody-two-shoes Sora", of course. Or, at least, that was Sora's excuse if he was caught.)

Skimming the journal, Sora stopped on one particular page. What made this page special? It had two very distinctive (_recognizable)_ handwritings on it.

"What is Riku's writing doing in Kairi's notebook?" Roxas asked Sora.

"You think I know?" Sora responded with a light mumble.

(It was not like anyone currently in the house would think Sora was insane for talking to himself, so as long as he did not talk to "himself" outside, he was fine.)

Kairi had a very feminine (_neat, proper, perfectly formed)_ writing; Riku's writing was very similar to Sora's, except that Riku's had a slight slant to the left, which caused the words to be closer together than if that slant was not there. (In other words, Riku's writing was slanted left and smaller than Sora's, but that was basically the only difference.) And, needless to say, neither Sora nor Riku had the most…"readable" writing. This was one reason that Riku's writing stood out so much against Kairi's perfectly formed and centered writing on the page.

Sora did not allow himself to get suspicious or jealous though- he knew better than anyone that there was **absolutely nothing** going on between Riku and Kairi. They were his best friends, so he would know if there was something. (Besides, Riku had been eyeing that new girl in town anyways…. whatever her name was.) Instead, he started reading through the lyrics, and after reading them, he felt like he should add his own part to the song. Sora did not know why, but it just felt like the right thing to do, and when had Sora ever denied his gut feeling?

_You show me how to see  
That nothing is whole and nothing is broken,_

Kairi had always been there- when Sora thought he could not go on, he was able to somehow keep on going, and at times, Sora was sure that (somehow) Kairi had something to do with that. Maybe Kairi was just the motivation, but even if that was all, it was what allowed him to be enjoying himself right now, at Kairi's house, waiting for breakfast, on the islands he at times (_in the middle of the dark, cold, everlasting night_) thought he would never see again. Even when he thought he was totally _broken_, he could still carry on, because that (_beautiful, wondrous, warm, sincere)_ light (light from _her_) was still there, tucked deep in his heart. But at the same time, his first realization that maybe everything _was not_ alright was because of Kairi- she was both _light **(**__**hope****)**_ and _reality._ His first feelings of heartache had come from this girl, after all.

_In you and I there's a new land,_

How many worlds had been saved by his actions? Countless, probably. Way more than he cared to visit at this current time, anyways. But still, even knowing that all those worlds (and millions more people from each world) had been saved, Sora was not sure that there would have been a point to saving these people, because (however selfish), if there was not Kairi to go home to after the adventure was over, where he could be "him" and not the "hero" for a moment, those worlds might not be worth saving. The sacrifices would not be worth the reward.

_Angels in flight,_

Oh, and she was definitely an angel. That twinkle in her eyes, and that giggle she had when she laughed… those things alone should be enough to confirm that indefinitely. Anyone who said otherwise could take it up with Sora and Riku. (Because Kairi was Riku's "sister", and he did not take well to _anyone _harassing his (makeshift) family.) Both Riku and Sora had a bit of a protective streak, and neither were afraid to demonstrate it to anyone who dared to hurt their precious princess.

_-I need more affection than you know. —_

How could Sora say it? How many times _had_ Sora said it (in his dreams, that is)? "Kairi. I love you. If you would not mind… would you please let me be the one to protect you the most, to let me call you mine?" (Then again, maybe that was _why_ Sora had_ not_ said anything- he could not think of anything that was _not_ completely, totally, and utterly cheesy.)

_My sanctuary, my sanctuary,  
Where fears and lies melt away,_

When he had first held _her_ again after a year apart… were there even words to describe it? (And then seeing Riku also, it was just too much to bear. Sora was _not_ a crybaby. He wanted to make sure that the fact that he did not cry often was stressed very heavily. (That was another aspect of the "male ego" by the way.) But he had not seen his two very best friends in over a year, and quite frankly, had thought the worst for the two at times, ("Blame Roxas… you never were that depressed and realistic until he came back to you," Riku replied once to Sora jokingly.) and Sora was overjoyed and overflowed with emotion when he had met back up with the two people most important to him in a succession of mere minute intervals.) He had felt unstoppable then. He could do anything. It seemed that all that had constrained him was no longer of importance. Was that how it should be put? The more he thought about it, the more he did agree… she _was _most definitely his sanctuary… his comfort… his life, even, maybe.

_Music in time,  
-I need more affection than you know—_

Music in time… life is like music, is it not? You hear a song, (_some you like… some you would rather never hear again)_ and before you know it, it is over… and another song comes on. The same can be said for life… you could say that a song's ending is a person walking out of your life, and the next song coming on is the next person entering your life. Some people are in your life longer than others- just as some songs are longer than others. Another possibility… a much more morbid one… would be that life in and of itself is like a song, and before you know it, it is over, and the next person (_keyblade master… hero.. princess… enemy…)_ steps onto the stage. And the "more affection comment"? Well, that is just to reinforce the earlier statement about how he needs more attention from the girl he has dreamt about for years. Sorry, no long drawn out lavish explanation there.

_What's left of me,  
What's left of me now?_

Why had Sora been sleeping for that year? He still did not know. But he did know that when he woke up, he had this sinking feeling. A feeling that told him right then and there that something bad would happen- a feeling that he would not admit to Donald and Goofy until much, much later. This feeling told him that nothing was like before. He could not place it until much later though. The feeling's meaning came into realization when he heard three very specific words: "Kairi's been kidnapped." Sora's reassurance had been that- if anything- Kairi was at home, on the Islands, safe. Once that was ripped from him, "What's left of me?" was a question he asked himself. Everything he had depended on was gone- and it felt like there was nothing left. Riku was missing (and him even being _alive_ at that time was very debatable), and then Kairi was kidnapped. It was like Sora was back at square one, where he began so long ago… back when he had first arrived at Traverse Town.

"Sora? Sora! It's ready. If you don't hurry, it'll get cold," Kairi yelled as she put the eggs onto a plate and began placing them onto the table.

"Alright, coming!" Sora cheerfully replied.

At this, the happy trio ate a relatively "normal" breakfast. (As normal as two boys and a girl –who, it might have been important to mention- had all used a giant key with a bit of a sharp-side to get rid of little black things that tried to make people into more of the black things, and had helped to save the multiple worlds they had visited. And no, they were not insane. It really did happen. Besides, "normal" (_if even existent_) was overrated anyways.)

"Now we can have a fun filled day doing nothing!" Sora chimed happily.

"Right, after you and Riku clean up, that is," Kairi added.

"But… Kairi…" Sora whined.

"Hey, I cooked while you two goofed off. Now you two can clean up while I go do nothing!" Kairi stated with an all-too-"innocent" smile.

"Fine," Riku agreed with a sigh.

Sora, however, was not convinced quite as easily though. Putting on his best pout, Sora tried to worm his way out of helping. And knowing Kairi as he did, he did not use words, but rather, expressions.

"No Sora… I wanted to still be sleeping right now, so that's not working today… now go help Riku before I just say no to breakfast next time," Kairi replied, making sure to not look Sora in the eyes (_knowing that she would cave the moment she looked into those big, blue eyes if she did)._

"Okay, okay… I get the point," Sora said, finally giving in, now that Riku was half done. However, Riku noticed that Sora was trying to wait until Riku had done almost all of the work and then help clean the last dish or something, just so that he could say that he _did_ help out.

"Good try. Your turn, I did my half," Riku replied while walking out of the room into the living room, where Kairi was bending over looking at something…

_Oh….crap. I forgot to grab the notebook and put it back!_ Sora thought as he face-palmed himself.

"Smooth, Sherlock," Roxas replied, and even though he was not visible, Sora could have _sworn _Roxas was shaking his head.

_And now Riku's walking over there too… lovely._ Sora thought grimly.

Roxas did not even bother with a response. Silence said everything sometimes. At this time, Sora resumed cleaning as quickly as possible, in hopes that he could interrupt them before they read too much, or at least try and explain to them _why _he read and wrote in Kairi's writing notebook. (It _was_ Roxas's fault, remember?)

What Sora did not know, though, was that Kairi nor Riku would tease him. (Or chastise him for taking a girl's writing journal- which, if you were unaware, was a _very_ dangerous thing to do, and was strongly recommended against if you valued your life and/or sanity.)

One writer for a song was normal. Two was not unheard of. Three separate writers told three different stories. And it was hard to put three different stories into one song without making it a 15-minute song. Three friends writing different parts of the same song gives three different perceptions. And the quality of the writing was not what was important- this would never be published or even read by another person, after all. Rather, it was something that bound them together- once again, showing them like a trinity, because, after all that had happened, you can not deny one simple fact- they were together- the three of them- today, even after everything that had happened.

There had been up's and down's. There had been moments that sometimes, it (life, that is) did not seem worth it. That one's sins overwrote any victories or attempts at redemption possible. That one was confined to their role, forever. (The hero _must_ be the hero, and the princess _must_ be the princess, always. No exception.) And when the world was crashing down on you, and you were the one who "_fixed everything"_, there seemed to be no one to _save you._ You then learn that, in the end, if you could believe in others, they would come and save you (_even if you were the "hero")_. And finally, if you wished for something hard enough, you could always force your will onto the world- you could change anything, including your role, if you wanted it enough.

Sora then walked into the living room with the others. As Sora sat down, Kairi pushed the book across the table to him. Looking at her with a questioning face, he had a hunch of what she wanted- call it intuition, or call it knowing the girl for the past 10 years (or would that be the same thing? Irreverent now, in the passage of time, it seemed). Sora took a pen and wrote one line. Just one. The verse by Sora was already written. This was the finale, and it was a joint effort. (_As this whole __**song **__had been, as __**friendship**__ had been, as __**life **__had been.)_

_My fears, my lies…_

At this, Sora slid the notebook to Riku.

Riku then picked up the pen and wrote down, right under Sora's newest line, his own last line.

_Melt away._

And finally, Riku passed the notebook to its owner. The completion of the triangle, reversed of the order the song was written. What began with the girl would now end with her too. Kairi then wrote the final words of the page- and wrote the words that would express both her feelings and the other two's feelings as well. The words that they had all used in their own individual verses, and the very words that had begun the song, proving that all things worked in a trinity after all-

_**-I need more affection than you know.—**_

~fin~


End file.
